Episode 14- BONUS Episode!- Boundaries!Aug 12, 2022
Set some boundaries with me!
Here is a link to the Instagram LIVE on Boundaries I did!
Here is the link to my YouTube video on Boundaries!
Here is the link to the Enneagram Test! I'm a three, Paul is a 9! What number are you!?!
Don't forget if you set some boundaries, tag me on Instagram.
Connect with me:
Welcome to Teaching love the podcast for World Language Teachers seeking inspiration, unapologetic authenticity and guidance in centering joy, and facilitating language acquisition to the people who matter most our students. I'm your host, Annabelle. La maestra loca. And I'm an educator just like you, and inspiring teachers is it? Hey, hey, welcome to episode 14 of teaching la vida loca.
This is just a little, little mini bonus episode, if you will, on boundaries, something that I have been sharing about a lot in the last three weeks, and something that I realized, dang, I need to put this out everywhere I can to help teachers really prioritize setting boundaries for themselves this year. This episode is short and sweet. And hopefully will give you some tools and some ideas for setting boundaries and keeping boundaries to protect your mental, emotional and physical health this year. I'm going to share some of the boundaries that I am setting, I will be sharing some of the boundaries that I heard other people setting. Last week when I did my Instagram Live on boundaries, I will link that and I will also link a YouTube and Facebook Live that I did on boundary setting in case you want a longer version of this. But I cannot say or stress to you enough how absolutely important it is that you set these now, early in the year or if some of you are not yet back to school, lucky you Where do you work?, you probably work somewhere where you don't get out until late June. So nevermind. I adore you. I'm so glad you're still on summer break. But it is essential that you think about these boundaries and set some boundaries before you go back to school.
So let's dig in the first boundary that I am setting is around email. It's actually a boundary I'm keeping it's not a boundary I'm setting. And that boundary is taking your work email off your phone, I already said to you instead of me. I already have it off of my phone, do not have your work email on your phone, the exact same emotions you feel when you open that angry parent email at 9pm. While you're on your couch, with your person or your animal, having your glass of wine watching your show the exact same emotions that you feel reading that triggered angry parent email. You're gonna have those in the morning when you go get to work and read them at seven in the morning. So why would you allow those feelings to enter your private personal home space? Please tell me why there is no need for it. The same emotions you feel when you see that there's a mandatory meeting tomorrow or, dang, there's five extra things I have to handle tomorrow. None of that is necessary after you clock out, take your work email off your phone, your work email should only be read when you're on your computer. Period, end of story. You do not need it on your phone. You don't need it with your personal coupons to Bed Bath and Beyond, into the restaurant that you want to go on a date night to you don't need it, you do not need it on your phone.
Take Your Time
The second boundary that I want to push you to have that I'm setting for myself this year is take the full response time that is allotted to you. So each school has a certain amount of hours that you have to respond in. Take that full time. Do not respond before you have to. If you're if you read an email from a student that says hey, did you grade my assignment I get you gave it to me two hours ago. No, I hadn't. I also have 170 Other students what? Take the response time if you're allotted 48 hours. Let that student cool off. Let that parent cool off. Let that coworker cool off. Let yourself cool off before you snap and enter into a power struggle. Where it's just gonna be emails back and forth. Then respond. There's no need. There's no need for an immediate response. You need time to breathe and think about your response. They need time to chill out and think about how they emailed you the tone in which they emailed you. It's just really important.
Another boundary unsetting is around water drinking because I'm really terrible at drinking water. So I'm forcing myself to before I leave class, before I leave the school building, I apologize. Before I leave the school building, I have to drink two big cups. And for me big is just like the regular Starbucks kind of refill or mug things. Two of those of water per day, which is a lot for me. And if it gets to three o'clock, and I've only had half of it, one of them, I'm going to chug it, I have to chug rest of that and a whole other one before I leave this building. I'm allowed to leave at four o'clock granted, the beginning of the year and carpool went for ever today literally an hour and 15 minutes instead of a half hour. But normally I'll be out of the out of the building around four o'clock. I have to have had that water before then.
Set Your Own Boundaries
Now on that note, some people on Instagram set very healthy boundaries with me live around leaving the building at a certain time and never after this year. Other people shared really healthy boundaries around exercise, some one of my favorite mamas on the planet Jess, who's part of my familia loca community shared that she really wants to get back to exercise, but she has a lot of kiddos. And so I said maybe you know, it's a matter of walking with the kids or taking the dogs, you know, like how can you prioritize just a little bit per day, don't go extreme and set this, this idea of, well, I gotta go an hour a day, if you're not used to doing it. That's an unrealistic expectation. But if you're setting boundaries and healthy habits up for yourself, that are going to improve your mental, emotional and physical health, it's really important to set attainable boundaries, set set goals that you can actually do. Right. So that's another great one.
I'm also setting boundaries around social media usage. So how many how much time I'm if I'm on Instagram, there's intentionality around it, I'm either making a post, I'm making a real, I'm making stories. And then when I'm not, I'm off, I'm not on it. And I think that that's really, really important. I can hear my husband listening to me recording, which is so awkward, you should go away. But all of these are some really healthy boundaries that you can start setting to protect your mental and emotional health this year, because last year was brutal. And we need to make sure that that's what we're prioritizing this year.
I'm going to give you one solid tip before I go. And this truly was revolutionary, in me learning to say no last year, because I'm a people pleaser. To my core, I'm an Enneagram. Three, love the Enneagram. If you don't know what it is, I will link a test for you go take it. I'm not you know, I've taken all the personality tests, I don't really care usually, but Enneagram is the first time I've ever had a much deeper sense of empathy for myself, for my husband, my husband's in Enneagram nine, so much of the things that he does that irritate me so much. I have so much more understanding and empathy for because it's literally who he is at his core. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm a people pleaser. Saying no for me is it goes against everything in my being. But I had to learn last year. And one of the ways I did it was actually not saying no. It was telling people and they would come to me say Annabelle, you know, you're so good with this parent context, read it out, or you're so great with the Promethium. Board. Could you do it? Instead of saying no, in that moment, which was physically painful. I would say thank you so much for thinking of me, I'm so honored that you know, I'm the first person you would think of it means a lot to me that you recognize that I'm good at XYZ. I'm gonna have to check in with my accountability, buddy before I say yes and commit to that. I'm passing it off on somebody else. I'm saying I have to check in with this person. My accountability buddy before I can say yes. Because my accountability buddy knows my schedule knows that. I've told them hey, I cannot sign up for anything else this year. No, I cannot sign up for that excruciatingly hot duty on the blacktop that somebody said they're not doing this year on Instagram, I was so proud of them. I cannot do XYZ I need you to hold me accountable to saying no. So it puts the blame on them the focus on them. I don't tell the person who my accountability buddy is it just gives me an out. I then go to the accountability buddy. I say hey, this was asked of me. I don't really want to do it. I don't know how to say no. And they give me permission to say no. They even give me the ability to blame it on them. So this has to be a real good friend at work, but also somebody who's going to hold you to it. Who's gonna say no, Annabelle, don't look at me like that you cannot do this you cannot take it on. Find yourself an accountability buddy, don't reveal who it is, be their accountability, buddy. And I promise you saying no, will feel so much easier. And then gradually release that release that accountability. But it got easier and easier for me later in the year to just say no, I'm sorry, I can't help with that. But I'm really grateful that you thought of me first means a lot to me that you recognize that I'm good at that. Right? And now I'm good at saying no. So then guess what? They stop asking you.
Find A Role Model
It's great. set those boundaries, keep those boundaries. And my biggest role model from with boundaries is actually my friend, Libby Minshall, who I talked with last year at Brook Lodge. In New Orleans. She's just magnificent. She's the art teacher and she is the queen of boundaries. So I hope you enjoyed this itty bitty bonus episode on teaching la vida loca set those boundaries. You know, message me, I would love for you to make a little post on your Instagram or your Facebook tag me in it. I can be your accountability buddy makes sure you're saying those out loud. You're writing them down somewhere. What are your boundaries this here? Let's do this. And let's hold each other to it. Thanks so much for being here. Thanks for listening. Make sure to send this to a teacher friend who needs to hear this message. They don't have to teach Spanish, they don't have to teach French. They don't have to teach a world language. They just need to set boundaries so that we can stay in this profession and be our best selves for our kids. Because remember, they're watching. The boundaries you're setting are also showing them how to be healthy boundary setting adults when they grow up and find their jobs. love you love you love you teacher. Thanks for being here and until next time I'll be teaching la vida loca and I'm sure you will be too. good night or good day. I guess I don't know when you're listening to this.
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